Olympic Tryouts and a Bulnami

Spa game on point

South Korea operates on the lunar calendar. This means that their new year isn’t January 1, it’s February 8^th. Now, it’s still Feb. 8^th, 2016 (as in the year still rolled over on Jan. 1^st), but the NEW YEAR hasn’t actually happened until the 8^th. Or something like that. Anyway, the important thing is that Korean’s take it seriously and everyone is off work.

KCTY was out Monday (Feb. 8^th), Tuesday, AND Wednesday. Three days! If you add Saturday and Sunday, that’s a five day weekend! That’s a full on mini-vacation. Maria, Daniel, Jerrica and I initially planned to go to Japan, but as you can imagine the tickets are holiday-expensive. More than that, we really couldn’t find a plane that left late enough on Friday, and until the last minute we thought we were working on Wednesday. No one wanted to spend $1000 for two days in Japan. We thought about China (or anywhere that wasn’t in Korea), but were hit with similar flight costs and time restraints.

Eventually, we decided that way to get the most out of the break would be to stay in Korea, so that’s what we did. And what better way to spend a break in February than snowboarding? And where better to snowboard than the site of the 2018 winter games? So to Pyeongchang (Pee-yong-chong) we went.

If you’ve been following this blog, you know that Maria and I took Mom and Melissa to this region for the trout festival. It’s a few hours to the east of Seoul.

We found a sweet deal with a group called Purple Ski Bus that allowed us to book passage to and from the region as well as lift passes and equipment rental at the ski resort, and when I say “we” I mean Maria. Props to her. We probably would have watched a few seasons of The Office if I had been left to plan the weekend.

Our bus left from a station in Seoul at 5 AM on Saturday, so the four of us (Maria, Daniel, Jerrica and myself) planned to meet out front of my apartment at 3:45. That might sound early, but the station was a good 30 minute cab ride (maybe 50 min in traffic) away, and we wanted a wide margin.

When you work all day Friday and set a meeting time at 3:45 the next morning the smart thing to do is to go to sleep. That’s mostly what Maria and I did. I think Dan and Jerrica went out like crazy people.

We met up at 3:55, bleary-eyed and only a little late, and caught a cab remarkably easily given how sleepy Sunae is. The cab drove us to Gangnam where we’d catch a transfer bus. Gangnam at 4:30 AM was a sight. From 10-3 AM it’s everything you’ve imagined from a major city nightlife, but at 4:30? Mostly pukey sidewalks and city workers cleaning up. We saw a few packs of women in mini-skirts in the subway. A couple drunk guys just trying to stay warm. The after-after-after party.

I’ve got to give it to Purple Bus, for making the whole process super easy. One flat rate (and we got a decent discount for the resort), and we had everything we needed for the weekend except a hotel.

We caught the bus without much trouble, and slept most of the way to Yongpyong Ski Resort (where the 2018 Winter Olympics will hold a few events). Getting all of our clothes and boards wasn’t too much of an ordeal, and soon we were on the slopes.

The bunny slopes.

Or really, the slopes under the bunny slopes where the bunnies who, for safety reasons, aren’t allowed to snowboard with the rest of the bunnies go to flounder around in the snow and shout obscenities. No kids allowed, because of the danger and the obscenities. 

I (had) no idea how to snowboard. I’m a decent skier. I can get down a black here and there, and I have a good time on the blues (for my friends in GA who have never seen snow outside of a highway doomsday prep manual, ski runs are ranked in difficulty in a system where a green circle is beginner, a blue square is novice, and a black diamond is expert). I’ve fought hard for these ski skills, and have won them over near a decade of busting it. Snowboards, I don’t what to do with.

But Maria snowboards, and Daniel and I wanted to try something new. Jerrica had no background on snow whatsoever. So it came to pass that we all rented snowboards.

It’s pretty rough, guys.

I spent the first hour sitting in the snow and talking about snowboarding. After that I tried to stand and slide around. I got a little cocky and went down the bunny slope, where I was quickly humbled. The whole first day was a blur of getting my butt kicked, really.

If you’ve ever seen a snowboarder on TV, they look awesome. Super cool. Their board is pointed straight down the mountain. They’re going about 300 MPH. They’re doing these cool “S” curves and carving up the slope. My first day of snowboarding was spent standing in an “athletic position”, which looks a lot like a standing stool/wall squat when your feet are strapped to the board. If you can stand there for long enough, your weight will let you slide down the mountain at a snail’s pace.

You’re going so slowly because your board is perpendicular to the slope of the mountain, which is how you stop. You’re basically going down the mountain with your emergency brake on. You can slide down the mountain like this for as long as you can keep your toes up and your heels grinding the back of the board into the mountain, but so help me God if you ever relax your shin muscles, the board’s front lip will catch the snow and throw you on your knees.

RIGHT. ON. YOURDAMN. KNEES.

Like, a lot.

Maria did her best with us, though, and a few hours later I could sort of snowboard. I mean that in the way that a kid using training wheels can sort of ride a bike. I just sort of leaned to the right and left while using the back-brake-slide, and this let me zig zag down the mountain at moderate speeds.

I called it the “falling leaf”, and it worked out alright for me. Daniel caught on pretty quick, and I’m certain that Jerrica got her feet strapped in.

We actually hit a couple of greens and blues the first day! And no one died!

Of course, who knows what rank/class the run actually were because the Yongpyong designers are crazy and named all their runs after colors.

“This is Super Green, our new blue slope! Over there is Green, which is also a blue but turns into a black at the top so watch out!”

The slopes closed at 4, which was a little early, but turned out to be pretty agreeable. We were all pretty beat up. The most common injuries in snowboarding are sprained wrists, which come about from getting thrown and stupidly trying to keep your face from slamming into the mountain. My legs were pretty toasted from using the falling leaf all day, as were my shoulders. My butt though. Gosh.

When we got to the hotel that night, I found a circular bruise on my tailbone that looked like someone had gotten at me with a shotgun loaded with quarters.

The hotel was awesome. We came upon it around 8 PM Saturday night (there was a free shuttle to town from the resort), and the place raised a little apprehension in the group. For starters, it was called the GB Motel and the building looked a little wonky. A little run down. The elevator was aggressive (I can’t really explain that any better). Looks can be deceiving though (except for the elevator).

Best hotel staff I’ve seen in a long time. The place was owned by a nice, older Korean couple. They offered a breakfast in the morning, which the hostess cooked herself. All the rooms were super clean. 

Whenever we wanted to go anywhere that was too far to walk, the owners would call us a taxi. Awesome place, and I guess it wasn’t much of a secret as there were people staying there from all over the world.

Out second day on the slopes was better. After a brief lapse, I was back to the falling leaf and feeling good. 

The reason we chose this particular resort in the first place was that they have a run that’s 5 kilometers long. That’s like 3.2 miles of snowboarding! It’s called Rainbow, or Endless Rainbow or something like that. To get there you take a gondola to the very top of the mountain range to a place called “Dragon’s Peak”. The ride up was a blast. Panoramic views of the mountains, a large forest, and all the runs in between. The gondola ride itself was closer to 20 minutes than 10.

There are two ways down the mountain from Dragon’s Peak, one is blue and one is black. The black run, we believe, will be used in the Olympics. Obviously, I was going to try the blue and count myself lucky if I didn’t snap a leg. After a quick photo op, Maria, Daniel and I (Jerrica wisely abstained from this one) started down the run. The first hundred yards or so of it were the steepest and most grueling. The opening slope was more ice than snow, except were the powder lay piled and waiting to snag your board edge and send you sliding down the mountain on the remnants of your knee caps. I spent most of the time trying to break my tailbone and went down the first hill much like a dog with a bad case of worms. We lost Daniel in the first minute.

The run is so long that they have a good many checkpoints and rest stops, which are little more than wide places on the side of the run where you can rest. I stopped at the first one of these and waited for Maria who came shortly after and told me that Daniel’s binding had broken and he’d been forced to turn back. As for herself, Maria’s knees had taken a beating and she was past the point of fun. After some deliberation, she too hiked back up the mountain to the gondola.

So then it was just me, and the rest of Endless Rainbow.

50 minutes of crawling, crashing and cursing later, I staggered back to the resort lodge. But no broken bones! I had a few stretches I was proud of. I eventually (after much trial and error) got to where I could keep the board parallel to the mountain and gain speed before backing in to a break. The real MVP, though, goes to all the eight-year-old Korean Olympian children who skied around the parade of wrecks that was my descent.

By the time I made it back, it was 4 and everyone was pretty bruised, so we hopped the shuttle home.

Korea is really big on hangover cures. You’ll see whole sections of convenience stores marketing miracle cures. Most of them are just potassium/vitamin C drinks. A big part of the Korean post-party revival process is the jimjabong (Korean sauna). It’s been on my bucket list for a while. They’re everywhere, I’d just never got around to it.

Despite being tired, we threw ourselves a party to celebrate our (relative) success on the mountain, and made plans to go to a jimjabong the next morning.

To call a jimjabong just a sauna would be selling it short. At most jimjabongs there’s a dark room for sleeping (and you can stay overnight for peanuts), a cafeteria/restaurant, several different types of sauna rooms, a range of hot tubs that vary in temperature and mineral content, and usually some kind of massage/scrub service.

Daniel said the jimjabong we went to was more traditional than most, and smaller. While there were showers, a cafeteria and a dark room, the main attraction were the bulnamis. Bulnami translates to “fire room”. The structures are large, brick domes that are attached to the main spa building by narrow hallway/tunnels. A fire is built in the room, and then smothered with branches, wet leaves, and dirt. Afterwards, reed mats are laid over the hot earth that is covering the live coals. The result is a sort of sweat lodge.

The jimjabong gives you a set of gym clothes (a faded tee and draw string shorts), you shower up, and then spend the rest of the day going to the bulnami for 5-10 minutes at a time (you can’t stand much longer). You might go in to the oven 5-9 times in a day. It feels great. The air is stifling and smells like evergreen and campfire. The brick walls are fire charred and the floor is dirt around the reed mats. Around the circular chamber, wood is leaning against the wall and the air is so hot you can actually here the planks creaking and cracking.

I lost our pictures of the sweat lodge, but this is pretty close. The ceiling is a dome. 

And here's a picture with some people. The staff wrapped us in similar sheets. It's to protect from the heat. 

It was nice. There were a good many Korean people at the jimjabong, and some spoke with us. Most seemed to be entertained to see us in the bulnami, but there was an air of solemn relaxation to the place, so most folks kept quiet.

Daniel and I made the mistake of following a few veteran Korean women into the bulnami that had just recently been on fire. We made it maybe 3 minutes before the heat drove us out. My skin was beat red.

The door to the bulnami. Pretty forbidding. 

We stayed for the better part of six hours, in which we ate a big traditional lunar new year lunch of dukguk (sliced rice cake soup), and took a nap in the darkroom aside from enjoying the bulnami. It felt cool to join in the tradition. I think I mentioned this earlier, but Lunar New Year is a big deal here.

Just as it was with the GB Motel owners, the jimjabong management was super accommodating and friendly. We showered and paid around $18 USD for our 6 hours in the spa (including lunch). A great value.

The jimjabong called us a cab, and before long we were on the big purple bus back to Seoul. My neck felt like someone had taken a hammer to it, but I was feeling refreshed from the bulnami. A pretty serious snowstorm hit us on the way home, so what should have been a 2.5 hour drive took us closer to 5.5 hours, but no one much cared.

By the time we got back to Sunae no one was interested in anything but sleep. And the best part? There were still two more days to lay on the couch before work started back up. Sloth king.